There are days

where I love being a Mom and spending time with my kids is my favorite thing. Then there are days like today when I am looking at the clock at 5:30 wondering how much longer I have till bedtime. Granted these days are few and far between but at one point during actual bedtime at 9 pm I looked at Kevin and said I could actually jump out of the window. Of course I was being dramatic but truthfully I don't remember feeling this overwhelmed since Ava was months old with colic. I don't even know what it was that got me today. Kohen was extremely whiny and had several bm's, none of which happen on the potty. He woke up both girls during nap time multiple times and really just gave me a hard time. I had plans for this Christmas break. I wanted to get the house in order. I want to actually MOP my floors, go through our dressers, clean my cabinets, but with three kids with me all day running around like crazy or constantly needing help, I haven't gotten to any of it yet. I pick up the MOUNDS of toys we have acquired over the years and see that we are clearly lacking in storage. A couple of hours later they are all over the floor again. When I say floor I mean all the floors; living room, bedrooms, kitchen even bathroom. Having the set up goals for myself to declutter and deep clean my house is making me more cranky because time is running out and knowing it probably will run out makes me feel like a loser. So while I laid in bed with Ellie and watched her fall asleep and thought for a moment of my next move should I make my way down to the kitchen or to the room of my sweet boy crying in his own bed for someone to come lay with him. I could have let him cry himself to sleep, after all he was a major pain today, but instead I decided to just go and lay with him. I held him in my arms for a little while and listened to his breath get deeper and slower. Am I the only one who loves the way kids look as they fall asleep? I told him I loved him and snuggled him closer, because just yesterday he looked up at me with his huge brown eyes squinted in a smile to tell me I was the best Mommy ever, so no matter how cluttered or dirty my floors get I guess my main goal of building a loving and supportive family/home for my kids is working and making me feel like less of a loser. And hey I can always try and mop again tomorrow I mean I did get a chance to vacuum today---