Mr. L

Kevin has called my Dad Mr. L as long as I can remember. I have called him Dad since I was 4? I don't remember the exact time I started calling him Dad but I do remember my aunt suggesting I call him that. I can't imagine having ever called him Douglas like I am told I did. He has been my Dad since I was around 2. Shortly after the sperm donor left I would guess. The truth is he is the only Dad I know. He is the Dad that God intended for me. In one of my few conversations with said sperm donor I thanked him for giving me the best Dad possible. In the past two weeks my Dad has gone to the hospital twice. He first went in on January 20th I an joked with him that he wanted to steal some attention away from President Obama. This week he was taken back via ambulance. My father has sarciodosis and it is effecting his lungs. Most recently he has been coughing up blood and having lung hemorrhaging. Needless to say this has me utterly scared and very worried. I worry about him and my Mom. I fear a world without him. I fear a life without him. I fear my children growing up and not knowing or remembering their Papi. He is wonderful with both the kids. AJ adores him and has always lit up when he comes into a room. She is close to him and is blessed to spend time with him every week when he picks her up from school. She benifits from his love of snacks and sweets every Wednesday on the way home from school. She told me on the way home from dropping of my sis at the metro that it was not time for Papi to go to heaven because she needed him to watch cartoons with her and play with her. She told me that Jesus knew he need to watch them with her. I want this for Kohen so bad. My Dad always wanted a boy. When I was pregnant with AJ he saw me buying pink and things that said princess and remarked that he didn't understand why I insisted on buying Princess things for a boy. He said the nursery would look pretty funny in pink when we had a son coming. I was a little worried he would not be as into AJ because she was a girl and we knew that at 18 weeks. But from day one he was adored her. He came to the hospital and brought Kevin and I each a gift to celebrate the birth of our first child. He got his boy in Kohen and I pray that the Good Lord and Jesus are trully speaking to AJ when she says its not time because my Kohen deserves the love that only my Dad knows how to give. Please keep my Dad in your prayers!