The one about the broken ankle

Disclaimer this is  a bit gross but is total justification for the blogging hiatus.  Not for the faint of heart.  

     It took 30 years but it finally happen I broke my ankle on April 24th.  It hurt like a mother and still 6 weeks later I am not 100%.  I guess thats what happens when you decide to become a runner late in life.  I was trying to run intervals and rolled it off a sidewalk.  I was with coworkers and tried hard not to cry but alas I broke down.  These days I wear it with Kensio tape, you know the cool stuff that Misty May and Kerry Walsh had on their shoulders for the Olympics?  Sometimes a brace but it gets in the way of my flipflop addiction.  Hoping 2 more weeks and I will be back in the game...  (added this post 6/7)

Healed by His stripes

I am sure most wake up excited on Friday's, if only because the work week is over, I wake up today excitement and amazement.  It is sort of like Christmas morning for me.  For those of you who do not know today is Good Friday.  The anniversary of the Greatest Friday EVER.  The one in which Jesus gave up his life for my sins, for our sins, so we could be in Heaven with Him and our Father after our life here ends.  So why is it called Good Friday?  Why is the day the Greatest, Holiest, Man to walk the earth died called Good Friday?  Because by doing so He opened the gates of Heaven for US.  He died that horrible death for our sins, for sins that I have yet to commit.   I am solemn in remembering Jesus' Passion and His walk to Calvary. Reflecting of the suffering Mary went through as she walked with him to the cross and watching her son die brings me to tears at times.  Still on Good Friday I am I excited thankful and humbled that He thought me worthy enough to endure such pain for.  Even if no one else thinks that I am worth much and that I am interchangeable, He did not and loved me enough to give His life for me.  While I know that the real rejoicing is Sunday when our Lord rises and fulfills the scripture for me Good Friday is just as special because if shows how much God loves us.  If you are not Catholic and have never made the Stations of the Cross I urge you to go today to your local parish and witness and pray the Stations.  

Not Me

Sorry I am day late but I just can't seem to motivate myself these days.  So anyway here goes...

I did not have to order my own birthday cake.

I did not have to cut my own cake.

I did not cry to my husband because I was able to eat a piece of my own cake and not just have to server it instead.

I did not ask to sleep in for my birthday.

I was not upset when Kohen woke up at 6:30 instead.

I did not beg Kevin to take me out for a Margarita.

I did not go to Ann Taylor Loft for new shirts.  I am a mom who sacrifices and only shops for her children.

I did not get giddy when I walked into Whole Foods on Monday.

I was not the least bit thankful that I got to go to work and leave Kev with a whining, crying, cranky Kohen.  

I did not lie to my daughter and tell her mushrooms are a type meat because Daddy was at work and I thought I could sneak a vegetarian dinner.

I have not been eating everything in sight

I don't think this is because I gave up diet soda for Lent

I did not miss my favorite Sunday of all, Palm Sunday, because I was a poor planner and ended up babysitting.

I do not think God will understand that I was helping a friend and forgive me.  

  

Loving Motherhood?

I was watching Oprah today which was about Mommy Secrets.  I loved it since I have been keeping many of those. (Check out my Not Me post in a few).  The one thing that was said that I loved was how we love our children but sometimes we don't love Motherhood.  DAMN Skippy.  I mean boy do I love my kids.  They are the light of my life and I sure do I adore them both.  Sometimes though the actual taking care of them every moment I am not at work is hard.  Even when I sleep Kohen is next to me jabbing me with his feet or hands.  Doesn't matter if its my birthday or a special day I (we) sitll have to get up and care for our children.  Even when you have had a long day at work or been up with them since early you still have to try to make out what they are saying when they aren't understandably verbal.  Mom's and in some cases Dads have to be trusted to break-up sibling agruements and capable of offering soothing words when you might be the one to need them most.  Moms are human we need time to ourselves too.  We need to care for us so we can care for them but as much as we say it to ourselves we seldom do it.  We are always pushing our needs away and the days we do take care of them we are still feeling guilty for doing it.  We second and triple guess our decissions and wonder if we are being the best mother we can be and doing the best for our kids.  So yes sometimes I don't love motherhood BUT I always love my kids.  

Guess Who's 30?!?!?!

Didn't think it would happen but it did.  30 here I am.  As usual I didn't necessarily spend the weekend the way I planned it but I still enjoyed it.  I knew I wanted to go down to the mall and see the Cherry Blossoms.  They were beautiful, see?I knew I wanted to spend time with my favorite people...

Mommy and Koey

Mommy and AJ

Kev and I 12 year later!

Mylee and I 

I wanted to take some nice shots of my family

Kohen didn't cooperate as much as Ava did.  

I didn't get to eat any of the birthday cake I ordered for myself since it melted before I got to cut myself I piece.  

But in the end I did get to have a margarita with my ever faithful margarita buddy, still taking apps for new one, though ;).

So in the end the weekend was good.  I didn't reach the goals I had to reach before I turned 30 but the great thing is I have more time!  I am still triyng to improve and be a better person mentally, socially and phycally.  Hopefully soon, ideally before I turn 31 I will have reached these goals.   

WANTED: Margarita Buddy

Qualifications:Must be female over 24 and like a margarita or 3.  

• Preferably in serious relationship or have kids.  
• Married with kids and serious obligations would be a bonus.  Must understand things come up with family and be flexible.
• Must be willing to knock back a few and not get stupid 
• Non-alcoholic  
• Local to Montgomery County MD.   
• Should be wiling to attempt regular girls night outings.  
• Ideally would prefer Magarita's on the rocks.  
• Occasional venting allowed, comparing spouses not.  
• Non-judgemental
• Mature

KID SISTERS need NOT APPLY ;)

Those interested please send...  

Not Me Monday Stellan Style...

The Cline family has asked that we do Not Me Monday Stellan Style and I am happy to oblige.

This week I did not ask my class to pray for Stellan. I did not write his name on our chalkboard for his name gallery.

I did not have to explain to my husband why I kept checking MckMama's site.

I did not ask AJ to pray for baby Stellan. I did not spend time in prayer with Kohen asking God to heal Stellan.

I did not to fly off my computer and run to Mass yesterday so I could pray for Stellan. I did not light a candle in Stellan's name.

I have not been unable to sleep peacefully because of the anguish of knowing this could happen to my children.

I have not said prayers for MckMama so that she have the strentgh to care for her child and keep faith that God will watch over Stellan no mater what.

I have not pleaded with God to not only keep my children healthy but to also heal all children who are battling for their lives.

I am not on twitter refreshing every couple minutes wondering if MckMama has updated.

I did not join the Pray for Stellan Group on Facebook.

I am not invested in asking the Dear Lord to heal this sweet boy.